I’m just fed up now. Fed up of everything. Not being good enough for anyone or anything, pushing people away who I really need right next to me, not feeling loved or wanted. Just not feeling happy even though I’m trying my absolute best to please everyone and block out everything bad. I’m fed up of school, home, friends, family, anything and everything. I just can’t be asked to go through this vicious cycle over and over again where I feel on top of the world and then shit because I have just been bottling up all the bad things until I burst. And don’t say that things will get better, because they won’t. They haven’t for months. I’ve been trying to convince myself that, but now it’s just getting pathetic. I can’t lie to myself anymore because I’m not as strong as I think I am and as what people think I am. Apparently hitting rock bottom is good because there is only one way to go and that is up. Pfffffft my arse, what and then as soon as you get the slightest bit of happiness in your life something crap happens again and makes you feel worse that before. Yup well that is pretty much the story of my life. I just don’t know what to believe in or trust anymore. Everything is just bullshit, and I can’t take it much more longer, I physically and mentally do not know what to do anymore.